Making life our own. It sounds kind of wonderful, doesn’t it? I wonder if it sounds so wonderful because at this moment, you are not making life your own. Or perhaps you are, but you remember the days that you made decisions based on everyone’s view but your own.
As a young girl, I somehow grew up with this idea that a stay at home mom needed to have dinner on the table when her husband got home. As a mom, I’ve felt that if my daughter were to go to the store with me in an outfit that doesn’t match then I will get looks from other moms. Both thoughts are somewhat absurd, no? But perhaps the same thoughts have passed through your own mind? These, my friend are examples of unrealistic expectations. We all have them. And at some point in our life we have all let them make a decision for us and possibly keep us from taking our own path in the world.
It took me years to realize just how many decisions were not mine, but someone else’s. And it was not until I admitted this, discovered what it was I really expected of myself and others, and began to be bolder in thought of God’s plan for my life, that I was able to put behind the busy that was taking over and make decisions based on what was good for myself and my family.
When we are too afraid to say ‘no’ and look at how our actions are effecting our life purpose and intention we end up overwhelmed, overworked, frustrated and unfulfilled. So I say it’s time to put behind the pressured expectations and make life our own! Are you with me? I have found these 3 steps to be essential in making the move to a life that is manageable as well as fulfilling.
Know your own. Do you know what your own desires are in your life? As a wife, what would the ideal situation be, and what expectations fulfill you as a wife? I personally love to cook dinner for my husband every week night. Social pressure makes me feel like I need to have it all ready and waiting for him when he gets home. A realistic expectation for myself is having dinner ready before 7pm. What are your realistic expectations of yourself when you disregard outside pressure? Think about as a woman, wife, mom, business woman, friend, etc.
Know that you can say no to requests. Grab your phone (I know it’s right beside you) and pull up your camera/video. Look at yourself and say, “I’m sorry, but at this time I can’t.” It might seem kind of silly, but do it. I promise you that it will change your confidence the next time someone asks you to do something that does not line up with your intentions, expectations, and current available time.
Look at everything in your life right now. Your activities, kids activities, spouse activities, to-do’s, errands, meetings, etc. and pick out one thing that you are doing or allowing because you think that is what everyone should do, but it is not what A.) you want or B.) is negatively effecting other areas of your life or self. Then, make the decision and take action to stop. It might require conversations with yourself and your family, but be confident in knowing that you are not alone! Every lady reading this is right there with you, and it’s time for you to start living out your life in a way that is good for you and your family, not everyone else’s! (And you will most likely find something that takes up that space with more meaningful activities and thoughts!)
I’m Lauren Copeland! An Empowering Life and Clarity Coach for amazing women who feel the call to be more, do more, and live more! I help women find balance & fulfillment, accomplish their goals and live a life they love! It’s time to stop just dreaming about it all, and make it happen!